My best friend from high school and I decided to get an apartment together as we started our sophomore year of University. My parents had moved across the country to Vancouver at the end of the previous school year and I had spent my summer with them, right up until a week before University started. I therefore had relied on my best friend to find us a suitable apartment. I hadn't thought it would be that difficult, but I guess it was as Sue could only find a little basement suite with no kitchen and a tiny bathroom. The living room was split in half with blankets attached to rods so Sue had some form of privacy in her "bedroom". She was generous enough to let me have the one actual bedroom. We were promised upstairs kitchen access from our landlady (who lived on the main floor) and we were grateful to have "in house" laundry facilities.
Within a week we realized that the landlady was a Froot Loop and her teenage son was no better. She accused me of stealing her peanut butter and she shut off the hot water for our laundry because she said we washed our clothes too much. Her son used to take out the light bulbs from the stairway and laundry room so she would accuse us. (we saw him do it) Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm guessing he was also the peanut butter thief, lol. It was a very, very strange existence, and that was only the first couple of weeks!
Since we had no kitchen and therefore no kitchen sink, we had to wash all dishes in the bathroom. The pedestal sink was NOT conducive to clean dishes. There was no counter to put either the clean or dirty dishes and the sink was the size of a popcorn bowl! It was ridiculous but both Sue and I refused to ever step into our landlady's kitchen again. Because dishes were SO hard to do we tended to let them collect until we just plain ran out of stuff to eat on or with.
It was the end of one of those weeks, when both Sue and I had been busy with exams, essays and other stuff, that we hadn't gotten to the dishes. Sue worked as a waitress at a friendly Irish pub and many times got home very late. It was one of those late nights when she got in at 3:00 AM and wanted to eat something that led to the biggest blow up she and I ever had.
|"King of Dirty Dishes" by Temy Ong|
"The dishes!", she mutters vehemently.
"But at four in the morning? It's the middle of the night !!"
"A fork", she says as she glares at me, soapy hands going up into the air.
"A FORK, all I wanted was a FREAKING FORK!!!!!!!! I just wanted to eat something and I couldn't even find a fork clean enough to use! We live in a pig pen and I can't STAND it anymore!!"
She looked close to either tears or hysterics. I started to laugh. No, this wasn't the most compassionate reaction but I just lost it. This nightmare of a basement apartment, with it's missing kitchen, bathroom so small your knees touched the wall when you used the facilities, no hot water and spiders the size of baseballs just finally got to me. I looked at my best friend with soapy bubbles up to her elbows, long blonde hair matted and smelling like a smoky pub and wild eyes tracking me and I let out a belly laugh that hopefully woke that crazy b*tch of a landlady upstairs. Sue looked at me with horror until I squeaked out, "a fork, all she wanted was a freaking FORK!!" through my giggles.
The tiny tweak of a smile started in the corner of her mouth and within a minute we were rolling around on the ridiculously small couch, killing ourselves laughing. We laughed until our sides ached. When finally the hilarity of our situation settled into the reality of what we were living in, we got down to cleaning our "apartment" up together. It was spotless an hour later and I had made us both Dagwood sandwiches for a job well done and hey, there was no need for a fork. ;o)
So, here I present you Sue's forks. At the time I should have bought her 100 plastic forks with a big red bow tied around them as an apology for my contribution to the unholy mess. I'm just glad we got out alive, before one of those spiders ate one of us in our sleep!
|Title: "Sue's Forks"|
If you haven't yet, I'd really appreciate you're following my blog using my Linky Follower Tool. Google Friend Connect only has a few more months left and I don't want to lose you as a follower. Thanks so much. (If you leave a comment about it, I'd be happy to follow back!)