Friday, January 15, 2010

Cold Feet, Warm Heart.

It is so cold out today! I hate cold, my feet are little icicles with bright pink nail polish on them. I'll spare you the photo-journalistic pictures of my feet and post this instead.  See how coooold it is here? What??! You say it did not snow in Victoria today? Or yesterday? Or all last week? ...Ok, ok!! You got me, this is last year's snowfall, but it FEELS this cold, damn it! Trust me, it's really cold feeling, here. :o(  It isn't fair that I cannot just buy a plane ticket and fly to somewhere warm. I'd have to steal a ticket. (Sheesh, first lying, now stealing!)

 Money is a little tight, especially after Christmas. *Jennifer rolls eyes heavenward and prays, yet again, to win the Lottery* This is one secret reason I want to paint. I think I'm going to be magnificent at it. I think I'm going to make a million dollars doing it. That is, when I'm not totally in fear that I will abysmally suck at it. Why can't I always believe? Like they say... if you believe then Tinkerbell lives, right? That kind of belief. The people closest to me believe, they have unwavering faith in me.

I have peeps. You know, those wonderfully, eternally supportive people who stand behind you like the Verizon network shows that crowd doing in their annoying commercials? Yep, I have some of those people. I would not be here without them because they validate me whenever I do something artistic. This will not be like a blogroll speach given at an Awards dinner. My peeps know who they are and they know I know, too. They are beautiful people, really. Let me elaborate...

In my teen years, I slaved over my best friends toy sewing machine, making designer original scrunchie and hair clip sets. Said best friend then wore them religiously. She sang my praises and raved to everyone she knew how great it was to have hair ties made just for her. You could have them too!! Didn't you want a pair or three?? She told me I was an artiste' even though I sold none and eventually gave her all my inventory (about 100 scrunchies and matching other hair ephemera).

Another example... a close family member (read: MOM) keeps believing I'll find my niche sometime, she knows I will. She has kept me well stocked in art supplies of every description even though I've moved quixotically through the spectrum of crafts as atypical as pysanka Ukranian painted eggs and as conventional as crocheted blankets. Other family, too, has always valued my art and told me, when I needed it, that I'd get there; I'd find my happy place as an artist.

I have another VBH, Very Best Friend. She is always in my corner, even when my corner is self flagellation because something I made isn't perfect. She always has a winning way of calming me down without making me feel foolish for having a temper tantrum and throwing a half formed flower against the wall so it sticks. She indulges the artist temperament by ignoring it and being calmly sensible. She has the power to let me see it's ok to be imperfect, that, in fact there is beauty in that even more than perfection. I couldn't live without her kind of support. Or I would live but I'd be bald from all the frustrated hair pulling. Bald really wouldn't be a good look for me. :o(

That other VBH in the world (see above paragraph) has a son, who, by the way, is the best kid in the known Universe. He cannot understand why every bride who uses the internet wouldn't want her wedding cake ONLY done by Yours Truely. That's some kind of validation! I know, I love him to bits too. You can see where I'm going with this.

I may have cold, bitterly cold, unhappy feet. But, I have a warm and cozy heart filled with enthusiasm and expectation, ready to climb yet another learning curve. Ready to scale the mountain that is Watercolors. Because I believe. I believe in my ability to be a great artist someday. In the name of my friends and family, I pick up the mantle and start to believe in myself...

Too dramatic?

Ya, I thought so. I don't think I'll suck, though. Of course, neither do my peeps. Did I mention I love them? Yep, big LOVE. Huge. Hugs all around. We'll talk later... I'm busy with all the hugging. :o)
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1 comment:

  1. Sorry you're so cold over there! For us it's also a bit chilly, but nothing like Canada...


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